- “Beer is your friend.” Like any good friend it has your back and makes you feel more confident for a time. But if you spend too much time with it, it’ll hit you in the gut and leave you puking in the bushes.
- “It only takes several little tiny cups of beer to get little tiny girls drunk and stumbling into people.” Pretty self-explanatory.
- “When drinking avoid trees at all costs.” Having a previous drunken encounter with a terrible turtle piñata, I can tell you for certainty that people with booze should not be near our friend the mighty tree. Climbing them should be strictly prohibited.
- “The mustache makes the man.” The longer or more ridiculous, the more people will flock to you and want to be seen with you. Not always a good thing, by the way.
- “When drinking Mike (MikeLovesBeer.com) has tunnel vision and avoids all things not directly in front of him.” Again, self-explanatory. While looking for him he must have passed me like 3 times and completely blown by me.
- “Phil (DosBeerigos.com) will “S the D” for a beer. Or Mention of his blog.” Er, not need to repay that site plug Phil. I’ve never seen a grown man make the international hand symbol for a BJ so much before in my entire life. Luckily, we have video evidence that you WILL see in the near future.
- “Tiny old men in pinstripes are hysterical.” Being short, gray haired, in pinstripes and surrounded by a plume of cigar smoke apparently makes you a stand up comedian.
- “Pretzel necklaces are not fashionable according to Mike and Phil.” Though they beat the hell out of a five dollar bratwurst.
- “Ernie drove Bert to drink. He’s running around here somewhere…” A man dressed as Bert from Sesame Street was running around drinking all day. Again, look for it in the video.
- “And finally, the only place you’ll see more glazed looks than a beer festival is at a Dunkin Donuts.”
So there they are, the 10 things I learned at Jupiter Craft Beer Festival. If you ever have the chance to go to one in your local area, I highly recommend it!
Peter Jurewicz is the creator of Big Damn Geeks, a blog dedicated to all things geeky, and a graduate of Full Sail University in Orlando, FL with a degree in film. He is also the younger yet taller brother to Mike of MikeLovesBeer.com.